Speaking of fresh new weeks, how many of you actually think of Mondays as "fresh"? I recently had a conversation with my boyfriend about this and I'd love your opinion. We were talking with one of his cousins about how different days have different feelings to them and I said Mondays feel "fresh" because they are the start of a brand new week. Well, my boyfriend felt that this was too positive of a narrative for Mondays. What do you think? I'm a big fan of new beginnings and that's not to say I looove Mondays or anything but I do think they have a sense of promise and possibility to them. Let me know what you think in the comments below!

Okay, so this week's topic is inspired by an article I recently read about Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn's relationship that you can check out here. I've been a Swiftie since I was ten years old and even dedicated portions of my Tumblr to her when I was a freshman in high school. She is the only artist of whom I have listened to every single song and I sort of feel like she gave me songs to grow up to. I sang "White Horse" and "Fifteen" through my first heartbreak, mourned lost love with her album "Red," and celebrated the beauty of an enduring relationship with "Lover." Every single one of her albums is unique and distinct, and no matter how much her music changes, I will forever be a fan.

But back to the article. I read it about a week ago, and before reading this article, I had no idea that Taylor Swift was even in a relationship, much less one spanning four years. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost five years, and I know how significant it is to make it that far. Reading this article made me feel connected to her in a way I had never imagined, and it also breathed new life into some of my favorite songs from her three most recent albums (Lover, Folklore, and Evermore). Before reading the article about her and Joe, I had the impression that some of her songs about long-term love (e.g. "Invisible String" in Folklore) were about a fictitious relationship. I had no idea she was in anything that enduring. I had no idea because Taylor and Joe intentionally kept their relationship on the down low. I think they did the right thing, and I'm also so incredibly happy for her.

Anyway, reading about her relationship and the way she and Joe went such great lengths to keep it hidden from the public eye really got me thinking about the importance of privacy, specifically in a world where it is not only encouraged but effortless to share everything. I know when I was younger, I was all for this. I was definitely an active subtweeter my sophomore year of high school and I kept an updated Instagram feed with everything from pictures of me and my science fair project to a selfie of me with a chocolate soymilk mustache. Everyone was sharing everything, and I wanted to feel seen.

There's a phrase from the movie Avatar that I've been thinking about since my sister and I rewatched the film this past fall. It's "oel ngati kamei" and it's a N'avi greeting that means "I see you." We became obsessed with it because Willow uses it in her song "Wait a Minute" when referring to a relationship:

Anyway, the phrase means "I see you" in a much deeper sense than just physical sight. It also relates to sight in a spiritual sense. I understand you. I comprehend you.

I think people have a desire to be seen, to be understood, to be comprehended. I think it's a basic human want that has pervaded generations of different people, and the way it manifests in our modern world is through a reliance on social media. We want to be understood, and so we share ourselves with everyone in the hopes that they will gain an understanding of who we really are. We make ourselves physically seen in the hopes that we will be spiritually seen as well.

Unfortunately, it's not that simple. It's kind of like the distinction between knowing of someone and knowing someone. To know of someone is to know what their favorite color is, where they live, where they work, who they hang out with on the weekends, what they do for a living, and so forth. To know someone is to know the thoughts that keep them up at night, the idiosyncrasies that make them who they are, the things that make their heart beat fast. You know me more through this blog than you can ever know me through my personal Instagram, but even then there is still a sense of knowing of me, because you only see the highly filtered information I choose to present to you.

So back to Taylor Swift. In a 2020 conversation with Paul McCartney (as per the article), Taylor says that keeping her relationship with Joe Alwyn has made her life feel "more like a real life and less like just a storyline to be commented on in tabloids." By choosing not to share certain information with the public, she has eliminated the public's capability to weigh in on her life. I think this is important. Why should people who only know of us, who don't really know us, get to weigh in on what we do and say and believe?

Taylor is most likely a lot more famous than you or I, but I think we less-famous people are still just as subject to public commentary. When we put pieces of our lives out in the open, we give othersthe opportunity to weigh in, whether that's behind our backs or to our faces. While this might be fine for some people, it wasn't fine for Taylor Swift, and as of late it has ceased to be fine for me.

Every time I think about making a post on my personal Instagram, I wonder "Why do I want people to know this about me?" And then that's followed by "Why do people I don't even talk to deserve to know this about me?" That almost always results in me not making the post. I used to have hundreds of posts on my Instagram, dating all the way back to when I was 14, but I've since archived the vast majority.

The thing is people don't have a right to know about your life. They don't have a right to know about your relationship, your favorite places to eat, your favorite outfits. You don't owe that information to anyone. If you want to share it, that's fine but there is a give and take. When you give up your privacy, people take it as an opportunity to assess you and your life.

I just don't want it anymore. I recently had an old high school friend mistakenly assume I'm still in college because I didn't post anything on social media about my graduation. And this is the weirdest thing, but somehow that made me kind of proud. I don't want people keeping tabs on my life without my permission. If someone wants to know what I'm up to, then they can text me. 

This might seem hypocritical because I'm a blogger, and yes, maintaining a blog does require a certain level of transparency. But there are still lots of things I choose not to share and will continue choosing not to share.

I'm not trying to bash people with active social media presences. Some people can handle that much awareness from other people of their lives, but I can't. I need some of my moments to be just for me and not for anyone else. Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn don't owe us the details of their relationship, and I don't owe my followers the details of my life.

Anyway, I hope you have a fantastic day full of light, love, romance, and the sweet reward of "secret" moments between you and the people you care about.

With love,