Hello Lavender Ladies and happy Wednesday!

Before we get into it, I wanted to point out that yes, this post is a little late. I've tried to get into a routine of posting every Monday morning at 7:00 AM CST so you have a new blogpost from me at the beginning of each week. Unfortunately, last week was sort of on the crazy side for me, and so even though I drafted half of this blog post, it just wasn't ready for public viewing yet. A little while back I made a rule that I would not present unpolished aspects of myself to the public, and that definitely applies here.

Anyway, on to the topic of today's post. I'd like to give a shoutout to the Mrs. Midwest blog here, because this post was inspired by a post of Caitlin's from July of 2019. You can see that post here (I definitely recommend giving it a look). Mrs. Midwest's YouTube channel and blog were my main source of inspiration for creating my own blog and her content was kind of the jumping-off point for my own feminine journey. I love her energy, her ideas, and the online community she's created.

Below I've compiled my own version of her article "20 Things I Recommend." Over this past year I've really focused on personal growth and leveling myself up and these are some little things to try out if you're also looking to change course. So without further ado... 20 things I recommend you start doing today are:

I talk about this in my Lent update, but I gave up Netflix for Lent and it has been so amazingly fruitful. I've gotten back 1-2 hours of time every single day that I use in ways that are more meaningful to me (like cooking nice meals or studying for my upcoming teacher certification exam).

This is something I started doing recently after I watched the movie Shutter Island (2010). The film has a phenomenal score and there's this one song by Max Richter that sent me completely over the moon ("The Nature of Daylight"). I became completely obsessed with it and played it repeatedly on loop, but the only problem was that this particular song has a more melancholy vibe to it. So listening to it when I was in a good mood would pull me into a more pensive, existential state. Because of this, I decided to create a playlist on Spotify with uplifting classical music and one with more thought-provoking music and I started listening to the uplifting one on my drive to work. Let me tell you, it made me feel so much more upbeat. There's just something about listening to Scott Joplin's "Maple Leaf Rag" and Justin Hurwitz's "Planetarium" (yes, from La La Land) while gazing at a sunny sky. Classical music gives me a chance to explore my thoughts and really enjoy my mornings as the gifts from God that they are.

This is a brand new habit I've kept up relatively well for the past two and a half months thanks to a good friend of mine. I do five minutes every morning, and when I was starting out I also did it every night. Regardless of how you decide to use yoga, it has been absolutely phenomenal for me. It has helped me gain control of my breathing in all kinds of stressful situations and just really look inward. I talk about yoga a little more in-depth in my post about cultivating a peaceful spirit, but that's exactly what it helps me do. Also, it's a great way to exercise and be active! :)

This is a habit I've been able to sustain thanks to another good friend. I started regularly reading the Bible in November of 2020 and I have somehow, by the grace of God, managed to stick with it ever since. In these past few months, I've gone through John, Job, Luke, Revelation (I didn't finish this book because it kind of wasn't what I needed at that moment), and Ephesians. I'm currently working my way through Matthew. Scripture is such a powerful force for good, and turning myself toward God each evening really helps me re-center my heart on what matters most.

My little sister gave up drinking coffee for Lent, and so she's the one who got me into this delicious drink. Matcha is apparently a superfood with tons of health benefits. I'm no expert, but you can read about it here. From promoting heart-health to boosting brain function, there are a lot of cool pros to this drink. I usually drink it mixed with milk as a matcha latte. If that's something y'all are interested in, I'll try to post the recipe I use on here.

I haven't talked about this much on here, but when I was in college I was involved in a military-style extracurricular organization (like ROTC) that placed a heavy emphasis on physical fitness. While my feelings toward running have been all over the place these past four years, I've come to enjoy it as a stress reliever. Don't place a lot of pressure on yourself to go fast or far: just put on some good tunes and do what you can. :)

So there are a lot of health benefits to this too and, again, I'm no expert, but you can read more here about why this is a good idea. The way I keep on top of this is by always having a water bottle or cup of water within arm's reach.

I learned this in high school and it has provided me great comfort in times of stress, sadness, and confusion. You can read it here.

I'll try to go into their accounts in a little more detail in a future post, but all of these accounts are my current go-tos. Mrs. Midwest got me started in my feminine journey and The Feminine Fancy and The Daily Connoisseur are really active on YouTube with a lot of actionable femininity tips. Edukale is my go-to source for nutrition-related info (and is the reason I managed to get my diet into shape) and But First, Coffee has a lot of great productivity tips.

I'm going to do a future blogpost about this book because there is literally so much depth there. But it's honestly just a great sci-fi political read. I also love the use of physics and Le Guin's exploration of a philosophy of time.

I love this Good Housekeeping article on the subject. Something I associate with femininity is creating a comfortable, relaxing "homely" space. Cleaning is a big part of that for me because I always feel more relaxed when I know my environment is straightened out. I fall off the bandwagon with this every now and then, but generally speaking, I try to straighten up my apartment once a week. I try to do it on Friday nights so I can enjoy my weekends, but sometimes I put it off until Sunday.

I learned this from Mrs. Midwest and I try to do it every single night. I wash all my dishes, wipe down the counters, and sweep up any crumbs from the night's cooking so it's one less thing to stress about in the morning.

Lucie at Edukale has some great videos on this. I decided at the beginning of Lent that I would also stop consuming media while eating, and so, even though I had already given up Netflix, I decided to also not read or watch YouTube during meals. Even though I don't think YouTube or books are as time-consuming as Netflix, they still require a lot of mental attention, and so I always ended up focusing on something other than your food. Now that I've cut them out, I actually desire to just sit and eat my food (even when I'm eating alone). Talk about crazy. Growing up, this seemed insane to me. I've always hated eating alone and the idea of really tuning into that alone-ness (different than loneliness), of focusing on just me, my thoughts, and my food sounded kind of horrible. I remember when I was a junior in high school, my Spanish teacher (he loved to give us life lessons and advice) told us that we needed to learn how to eat, how to sit and focus on a meal and just enjoy. Well, Mr. Spanish Teacher, I have finally learned! Food tastes so much better without a bunch of distractions. Sidebar: people are not distractions.

This is a little trick I learned from But First, Coffee. I'm not 100% sure which video this is from, but I think it's this one. The idea is that when you are struggling with motivation or have just had an off day, you pick some kind of tangible moment in the future and say "That's when I'll hit my reset button," and commit to starting fresh. In her video, Kallie says you might tell yourself "After I get this latte, I'm hitting my reset button." There are infinite ways to apply this: after your latte, after your nap, after you wash your face, etc. While Kallie poses this as a motivation hack (I think) in her video, this is also great for us Highly Sensitive People. I personally tend to get really overwhelmed by my emotions, negativity, and so many other things that are going on in our busy, crazy world. Sometimes all it takes to push me over the edge is H-E-B (Texas' premier grocery store) not having the brand of milk I want. I kid you not. But pressing my reset button has proved so beneficial in this respect. I remember one time when I was driving and really struggling and just thought to myself "When I pass that stoplight, I'm hitting my reset button." And I did. My emotions didn't just magically vanish, but I was able to manage them in a much more productive way.

This is a concept I picked up from Lucie at Edukale on YouTube. She has a bunch of great videos about it, so I won't pretend to be an expert, but I definitely recommend you check her out. Since I've started doing this, I've completely stopped counting calories. I had been calorie obsessed for the past two years, and I did not think a YouTuber would change that, but she (along with this Linda Sun video) convinced me stop completely and just focus on eating until satisfied. I especially appreciated Lucie's video on the hunger scale when I started doing this.

This is another thing I learned from Lucie at Edukale. She really has so much great content and I just really enjoy her overall demeanor. This is something I started doing because of this video ("How French Women Don't Get Fat"), which is actually the reason I got so into her channel. I've been trying to buy better quality foods at the grocery store, and yes I spend more on groceries but because the food I'm eating is so much better, I save money by not going to restaurants. I also love this blog for recipe advice. Miereille offers amazing guidance on everything from underappreciated meal components (like soup) to structured plans for creating delicious lunches. 

This is another thing Lucie at Edukale inspired me to do. With the same video I mentioned above ("How French Women Don't Get Fat"), she talks about how French people are a lot more focused on quality than efficiency when it comes to food. Between Pinterest and the French Women Don't Get Fat blog (which I also linked in #16), I have found this to be a much more satisfying way to eat (even if it's more time consuming).

Okay, so this is something my dad always emphasized with us growing up. We live pretty far away from the rest of my family, so whenever my grandparents would send gifts or money, my dad would make sure we wrote Thank You notes before we could access any of it. Same thing for the gifts I received at my dance recitals. I didn't realize this is an uncommon practice until I got much older, but it's something I still strive to keep up with. There's something so meaningful about going the extra mile for someone who's gone the extra mile for you. :)

I talk about this in my first-ever post on this blog, so I won't go too much in depth here. The main thing is to simply have a skincare routine. Doesn't matter what it is. Just have one. Take off your makeup, wash your face, put lotion. If you want to get a lil crazy, you can move along to something more intense. My skincare routine now has 6 steps (face wash, toner, exfoliant, serum, retinol, lotion), but trust me. I worked up to it.

This is the last thing on my list and the most important one. Hopefully you've made it this far. "Microjoy" is a word I heard on Mrs. Midwest's channel, but I've really chosen to integrate it into my everyday life. Being joyful is not just about the big moments. If you live for the big moments (birthdays, holidays, weekends, etc.), then a lot of your life is going to be just you waiting. The point isn't to wait for life to be beautiful but find the beauty in it every single day. I listen to classical music on my drive to work because it makes my morning more beautiful. I don't watch YouTube when I eat because it makes eating more beautiful. I cook extravagant meals because it makes cooking more beautiful. Every single day should have at least one (but if you're doing it right, I think there are way more than that) moment where you can suck in a deep breath of air and feel blessed. I'm not downplaying the struggles that we all have. My days are roller coasters of positive and negative emotions. But I'm just saying to really cultivate that appreciation for each moment as a gift from God's hands. 

Okay! Thank you so much for making it this far, and if you did, comment your favorite tip below (or any tips of your own). This post is already a lot longer than usual (that's why I'm a few days late with it), but I hope you enjoy and have a wonderful, joyful, beautiful day!

With love,